You Call This Writing?

Rain

2011-04-19T20:54:00.000+08:00

Pitter patter, a downpour's fury.
Cocooned under warm covers.
Enveloped in darkness
The shards of light
Cast upon the ceiling
from the blinds
Everything is listening silently
except for the sound of the rain.

It's Weird

2008-12-01T11:27:00.005+08:00

It's weird

how I turn back my head

to take another look at that guy in the crowd

coz for a wild moment,

I thought it was you.

It's weird

how I keep checking the carplate number

of the brown car that whizzed by

because you drive the same car too.

It's weird

how I go to grocery shop

and I suddenly miss the times

we did that together.

Silly, we began in sucha place too, didn't we?

It's weird
how the memories come flooding in
at inopportune moments

sometimes I smile to myself when I think of them

sometimes I cry

for the lost time of the next few years.

It's weird

how sometimes I'm excited at this new adventure

how sometimes I wish desperately,

you were going with me

so that we could experience it in all its entirety together

without the need for me to describe it to you.

It's weird

how time seems to grow wings

when I am with you

doing nothing absolutely at all

oh, how happy times fly.

It's weird
how the future seems so uncertain
able to tip at the slightest weight

but we have the faith to fight for it

to build one together.

It's weird

how I tell myself

I'm getting better, a little bit stronger

and so easy it all falls,

crumbles to naught

when I see you again.

It's just weird...

life without you.

PS: I know I haven't been posting my poetry here for a long long time. Well, I was just out of inspiration. So this blog will just remain a place for the occasional poem. You can add it to your RSS feed so that you won't need to keep checking back k? ;)

Hope you enjoyed this one!

Do You Remember?

2008-07-28T01:21:00.004+08:00

Do you remember that night?
where moonlight streamed in from the windows
making everything a silvery shimmer.

Do you remember how you spoke those words
"I'm gonna miss you" with emotion so
wrenching my heart tightly in my chest.

Do you remember the shadows of the buildings
interspersed against the wall?
so dark that one could called it romance.

Do you remember the pearly tears shed
thinking of what was to come?
The days, weeks, months of absence.

Do you remember the times we had together?
the funny, the sad, the happy.
Memories come aflashing through.

Do you remember how it feels to snuggle up
to someone you love and loves you back?
Warmth best shared on a cold day.

Do you remember our dreams, our hope
for a future with 'we' within?
my heart achingly wishing for it to come true.

Do you remember that night?

Last Journey

2008-01-15T11:42:00.001+08:00

This poem was written by Nick for our grp's literature presentation thru the eyes of the dying AIDS patient. yup it was also inspired by the same poem The Distant Moon. I did help him modify a bit lah hehe.

Anyway, do enjoy this different style of poetry! I lurve it how he managed to rhyme all the last words together..

Here goes:

Hanging loosely on the brink of death,
Life seeps away with every gasping breath,
Death awaits, an inevitable theft,
Torn to pieces till nothing is left.

Isolated, alone in the under dark,
Disembodied, hollow; where to start?
Friends and family distance apart,
Solitude diffuses into my lonely heart.

Anguish and agony engulfs my very mind,
Devastated in pain as my thoughts bind,
Comfort and peace, I no longer find,
Burnt and scorched to bits over time.

Plagued, it conquers with steadfast might,
Swallows the light, diminish my sight,
The darkness eats me up inside,
Leaving me in fear of death’s swift flight.

Why?

2008-01-10T20:34:00.000+08:00

This time, there were no tears.
Just the sound of regret
and sadness whirling inside me.

Why? Why has it come to this?
the question echoes darkly.
but there is no resounding answer.

I'm alone on a dark moor
a plain of darkish thoughts
a lake of murky hesitations.

Torn into tiny little pieces
torn between two sides
the angel and devil in me fights.

the elusive question remains
no answer appears in my head.
why?! i screamed out aloud in the silent room

There is nothing wrong
everything is perfectly fine
am I asking for too much?

What happened to the feelings?
Where have they gone?
Did I force myself to change too much?

Stare blankly in the bathtub while the water runs...
Breeze in face looking out of the window
Empty eyes in front of the computer screen.

No.. the answer does not come.
How long before the answer discovers its finder?
Still I sit here... waiting.

And this time, I promise you,
there were no tears.
just cold sad loneliness..

i Remember

2008-01-09T13:33:00.001+08:00

Poor little bloggy. I've been abandoning it for so long. Due to being busy, lack of inspiration, yada yada... Enough of the excuses.

Here's another poem that I wrote inspired by the poem The Distant Moon that we had to use for my group's presentation during the literature selective.

In this poem, through the eyes of the doctor, we see the sadness and helplessness that he feels for a dying AIDS patient.

Here goes:

His face, i remembered.

Gaunt, paler by the day.

my face, he doesn't see.

Where his vision fails,

He is teetering on the

jagged edge of death's hole.

Yet he is smiling with

the warmth of a newborn baby.

Does he feel alone, fearful

in death's cold cradle?

Or does he see the end

as an end to his suffering?

my pain is that

i'd given him pain.

The emotional fortress's defenses

shatter momentarily, but never enough

to let others in.

As Death gave him one last call,

i pulled up the white sheets,

half thankful that

now, i'm allowed to cry.

回到以前的我

2007-10-25T21:08:00.000+08:00

怎么叫这颗心坚强起来
眼泪却一直流
我尽然办不到那么简单的一件事。

怎么叫自己不要再胡思乱想
不要再追求那愚蠢的梦想
最后伤的还不是我自己。

可能这一切也该结束了
有始有终是自然界的条例
没有人可以改变得。

可能到了时候回去自己一个人的生活
虽然开始可能像个噩梦
但我也只不过是
做回以前的自己而已。

不然有空时平静下心境
慢慢习惯一个人过日子
自由自在
毫无约束的我。

Opinions of A Not-So-Dumb-But-Twisted Blonde

2007-10-16T18:18:00.000+08:00

I don't want to be a barbie doll

in a plastic world.

With a fake tinkling laugh

that serve nothing but to break the tension

in a dog-eat-dog world.

Don't believe the praises heaped on your pretty new skirt

they are malicious poison

aimed at shaking you from your throne.

Don't take the fake smiling faces

as acceptance of you

they are just imagining your fallen face.

I'm not your favourite barbie doll

in your perfect fantasy world.

I'm not your typical beauty queen

who say that their only wish for tonight is world peace.

Those clockworks in my mind do work, mind you.

I want to form my own opinions
none that which are thrust down my throat.
I want to see for myself the truth
as nought can be trusted

everybody lies these days, don't they?

I don't want to be stereotyped

as a dumb blonde

even though these platinum blonde locks are dyed

to ask you not to judge a book by its cover.

Hell yeah, hope you got the message,

or else you are the dumb one.

Lost To Me

2007-07-21T13:29:00.000+08:00

The calendar has just flipped a few
of its yellowing pages
but turn back I did
to find
there is none of the old you.

Why? tell me please.
What had the world done to you?
For you to change your cloak
so dramatically
from one of white to that of wicked black?

I can't find it
however desperate I try to clutch
at any shred, any hint.
Unable to capture any glimpse of the old you
Not even a mere glimmer of that past shine.
Now? All that glitters is not gold.

All this new glitter is shallow fluff
Is this the sort of superficial
that you were seeking for?

It's disheartening to see you change
from someone of dignity
to a peacock full of beauty but nothing else.

Maybe you lack it when it was appropriate.
And now it's the time you start looking
for something that was never yours.
I just hope that you know clearly
what the future holds for you.
And no regrets shall ever fall from your lips.

With that, I bid you good luck and adios,
my old friend.
For I fear, you are lost to me forever.

Hush

2007-06-03T03:35:00.000+08:00

Hush, don't cry...
Tell me, twinkling stars in the sky
Don't you sometimes wonder
was everything nothing more than
a wonderful mistake?

You were a risk
that I willingly took
that I plunged off for
into the deep end
without any ending in sight.

Hush, don't lie...
Tell me, silent winds that chill the night
Do you really miss my warmth
or is it that you just can't bear to see
the vapourization of water crystals?

I wish very much
to become the strong person I appear to be
from the outside
but inside this person
can be just as fragile as the tiniest flower bud.

Hush, my dear...
For you, I am willing.
Coz it is only with you
that even the most bitter of moments
turn sweet.

Journeying For Dreams

2007-04-16T23:54:00.000+08:00

Sometimes in the lateness of night's cover,
don't you wonder at everything
how life seems to be made up of
a series of ups and downs...
always keeping us at our toes' end.

No rest, just continous slogging on
the path is long and winded
there are rivers and moutains
as wide as huge as the imagination can weave.

Those are the obstacles waiting to meet us
waiting to bring us down
down I may go
but up I will rise again
with wit and determination
to reach my destination.

The motions are set into work once again
who knows how it all will turn out?
pray may I be blessed
with good luck and good fortune
that I may surpass myself someday
that I may look back and say
it's been a good journey.

Breaking Of The Glass Heart

2007-02-20T14:12:00.000+08:00

Mind is blank, soul is empty,
staring eyes are glassy.
Emotions are all riled up,
bubbling within me,
threatening to spill out into tears.

Utter these words of poison you did,
my heart seems to be made of glass,
breaking into tiny shards,
unable to represent its original sentiment,
lined with blood,
edges still sharp enough for more pain.

I am not you but I am trying to understand
but why are you shaking your head?

Pls don't turn into this stranger
that I do not know,
that say things that tear me up inside,
that does things that bring me tears.

I do not know
how much more I can shed pearls of white,
how long more before my heart turns cold.
Pray that will never happen a time too early.
Pray that it will never happen at all...

A Night Like This

2007-01-11T23:49:00.000+08:00

It's nights like this
where the feeling of loneliness
slowly engulfs you,
eating you up inside.

The moon is full and bright
the cats howl outside
crickets play their eerie music
but the rest is solitude.

The old fan keeps blowing
the door is still creaking
the light keeps flickering
but there is nothing else.

Raven tresses blow in the wind
lips open but no sounds are heard.
Mind is awake
heart is asleep in pain.

There are many things to do
many things to see and hear,
but none willing to accompany
to pass the silent lonely night.

What is this feeling?
Of being left alone...
on a night like this.

Can Someone Tell Me...?

2006-10-24T12:57:00.000+08:00

Oh, why has this happpened
to those who truly were kind
from the bottom of their hearts
and did not deserve any of this...

Oh, why, can someone tell me,
does the good die young
while the scoundrels go free?
No answer echoes in the distance.

How my heart aches
to make you feel better
in any way possible
but wavered in the horizon it did.

I'm trying, trying
and still trying
but to no avail.
I've failed in my quest to help.

For once, I'm helpless
sank to my knees
despair overwhelming me
can someone pls tell me why?

No one can tell me why,
I'm left all alone,
echoes rebound
on the dark plain moors.

Alone. Silence.

Short But Beautiful

2006-08-21T17:27:00.000+08:00

All passion was lighted ablaze,
by an intense need of emotions,
Everyone faced the heavens,
anticipating the bursts of dancing lights.

Peoples' faces brightened,
as the fireworks coloured the night sky,
flying in their dizzy circles,
bringing a symbol of hope to all.

The fireworks, the sparks pretty as they were,
struggled albeitly so brief
in its embers of dying glory,
at last swallowed by the enveloping darkness.

Although the sparks were alive
for a time too short,
at least we were there
to experience its beauty of it all.

It might have been so much more
but destiny bids us to another path
we have no choice but to tread,
Does the walker choose the path,
or the path the walker?

My mind is tired of its overactivity,
it begs rest for some period
for a peace desperately seeked,
a while forgotten
but hopefully soon returned. *Peace*

A Different Sort of Days

2006-08-16T17:58:00.000+08:00

I remember those days of long ago
where I'd wake up
thinking of all the things
that have gone wrong in my life.

They were probably trivial
probably minute
but they bothered the perfectionist in me
leaving me gasping for air.

Until you came along
giving me another kind of breathless
turning my world inside out
in a good way perhaps.

Now I have a new sort of days
where I'd wake up
with a tiny smile
written on my face.

You brought me a new meaning
a new way of thoughts
a different experience
a new kind of feeling.

You make me wanna be a better person
you gave me strength
you renewed my dreams of a future
you pass me the beacon of Hope.

I never dare hoped for "forever"
but I cherish the times we have together
and everything we learnt
from this beautiful detour in life.

Future Untold

2006-07-30T13:39:00.000+08:00

The truth has been bared,
with a suddenness so swift,
that leave us open mouthed
in this new twist of the plot.

But still we both hesitate,
to take the next plunge,
doubts buried deep remain still,
for both are new at the game.

We're afraid of the future,
for we dunno what it holds.
Could it be the harbinger of doom?
Or could it spell an ending so sweet?

At a loss, emotions all wound up,
The ups and downs are like none I've ever known,
Feelings sometimes strongly felt,
At time, a void of nothingness.

I guess it's all a calculated risk,
a game of vulnerability and dependence,
of possible hurt and happiness,
The stakes of this gamble are high.

Do we want it enough
to weather through the storms?
To smile through the sunshine?
To make it work?

The ending is up to us to weave,
there might be no forever,
but at least we had something to remember,
memories of a time spent together.

.: Destiny :.

2006-07-17T12:09:00.000+08:00

It must be destiny smiling upon us,
the winking stars that willed us to meet,
in ways so strange that leave me breathless,
about the seamless beauty of it all.

The feeling of all being so right,
well, on second thought...maybe not.
Coz there's a little patch of darkness
cometh of a past that is hard to be forgotten.

Should one close a blind eye
and pretend that the scar didn’t exist?
But either road chosen might lead to regrets
A fear that is whirling inside me.

Are our fates written in the stars?
Coincidence seems an unlikely alternative.
How can something so right be wrong?
Yes! It must lead to something amazing..

One must not get too carried away
in the comfort of beauty.
Coz love and hurt comes hand in hand.
And I'm afraid of being hurt.

But I guess like everything in life,
There is always a risk..
If I were to not live in vain,
I think I'm willing to take these risks,
to search for a magical ending.

The Road Chosen

2006-02-18T09:21:00.000+08:00

Now The Time has cometh
for me
to stand straight and tall,
to draw in deep breaths,
to look into myself for courage
I did not know I have,
to brace myself for obstacles
that will pass me forth.

I'm going into the battlefield
a lone ranger,
only with my instinct and conscience
as my loyal companions.

Every person I meet,
whether friend, foe,
or a passing shadow,
This I do not yet know.

Charge, my friends!
Give up?
No such phrase in my vocabulary!
Persevere with will
and the dawn
will emerge from the dark shadows.

Yes, this is the Road I've chosen.
I pray that this is the right one
for me on the map
and that I won't get lost.
Time to take the first step!

Examination Blues

2006-01-22T14:59:00.000+08:00

For joy, I shouted!
Absolute euphoria!
Examz are finally over...!
For months we've slogged,
pored over revision books...
until we nearly puked!
Burn the midnight oil until dawn,
trying to cram 2 years of work into a few days,
accompanied with headaches that come with the deal.
Finally the nightmare has ended!
And now the time has come
for us to have unending fun
till our hearts' content.

I bade farewell to the examination blues.
So long has it tested my courage,
my will power and my discipline.
Thank goodness
the terrible ordeal is over now.
Everything is back to normal again,
I need not put my life on hold for this stupid exam,
I need not feel guilty anymore
for watching that movie
or surfing the net in my free time.
So haunting the feeling of suppressed guilt,
it lingers
and I still remember...

It feels like a large burden
has been lifted off our weary shoulders.
The manicles on our hands,
the chains on our feet
-unlocked.
For triumphant joy
floods into our singing hearts!
That once more
we are free again to play and have fun.
I hear long-forgotten laughter, oh!
How clear and tinkling it sounds!
Now, that's the true laughter
of a happy bunch of people!
Cheers!
To the end of Examination Blues!

PS: I wrote this a long time ago, but didn't posted it up. Hope you like it now! :D

Unknown Enemy

2005-12-31T06:41:00.000+08:00

Shading my eyes
from the blasts of light
invading my eyelids,
I see battle smoke
rising on the near horizon.
I can hear the enemy
marching down upon us,
never out of step
in the endless rhythm of stomps.

I inch slowly forward
seeking desperate shelter
behind a small mould,
trying to shield myself
from the slew
of deadly cold metal.

Oh! That almost got me!
But the silent sigh of relief
left my lips midway
when I saw,
frozen in horror,
that it had hit my neighbour instead
who was crawling behind me
who lived in the nice house
beside mine
but now she will speak no more
except those last words
as the red flows freely.

I must hide, run, fly
from this disaster a-coming.
I still want to live
desperately clinging to a hope
that will be dashed soon,
a little too soon.

Why is this happening?
Why are they doing this to us?
For we had
done them no wrong
done them no injustice
great or small.

We were just simple people,
living simple contented lives.
Until this catastrophe landed
right upon our doorstep,
Life will never be the same again,
after this unknown enemy
has invaded our motherland
and spill our innocent blood.

Oh! Too late!
Too much thinking as usual.
I had delayed
my flight of escape a tad too long.
The steely metal
whizzed through the dull air
and pierced my breathless chest,
tore my flesh from bone to bone.
Ah! It is burning me inside...
I'm writhing in pain
but it gradually lessens
just before everything goes black.

Place of Knowledge

2005-12-15T12:30:00.000+08:00

The cold wind play with my hair,
I turn back and see
in my mind's eye,
the warm happy place
that sheltered me
from the thunderstorms of youth.
I have to leave it now,
to seek a new future
to find my way
to the next crossroads of life.

I remember fondly
the hall of knowledge
and the memories it brings.
It nurtured me to become
the person I am today.
Far from the little innocent I was
when I first stepped through
these noble gates.

For that I have
grown in ways too many to tell.
With different viewpoints of life,
and different attitudes to face obstacles,
The place has strengthen my resolve,
steeled my will,
to work among the people,
and do my best
for a better world,
for you and for me.

The gates close
with a cruel clang
that resonated into the distance.
It was time
to shoulder new burdens,
to shrug off weary trivialities
to be the best that I can be.

I'll walk steadily down this path
littered with ruts,
till the day I meet a dead end.
I can rest in peace
in the memory
that I had not arisen in vain.

Letter of Fate

2005-12-14T14:57:00.000+08:00

Suddenly, The Day has come upon us,
without warning it swooped,
so silently
while we were still basking
in the stifling throes of joy
hard gotten by.

I cry desperate tears of anxiety,
waiting for the dreadful Letter of Fate,
fortelling one's path of life to come.
The waiting is too much
for my fragile shoulders to bear.
I'm swirling in a maelstrom
of hopes and negativities.

Oh, it has cometh!
I tore it open with trembling fingers,
almost ripping it into tiny shreds.

It's no good.
My life - finished!
To feel all my hopes come crashing down,
tumbling around me,
while I crouch in horrible despair.

Drown myself in hopes dashed so I will.
Pearls of grief wash my pallid face.
Dry sobs break the momentary silence.
Speeches of sorrow dripped from these lips.

This is it.
I'm finished.
Regret tears me apart,
I'll never be whole again.

Do or die?
I think I died.

~ Beacon of Light ~

2005-11-19T13:44:00.001+08:00

Around me,
darkness slips through the crevices,
to emerge as twirling vipers
ready to strike,
with venom
so lethal that it fouls the air around it.
But the most poisonous weapon
is not it,
nor is it the bombs showering the once clear night sky,
instead, it is the keyboard
that types words carefully,
stringed together with precision
to present
malicious intent,
searing flesh,
separating mind, body and soul.

I dare not tread lightly,
for fear that once I dip
my toes into the treacherous waters,
I'll become as tainted.
Never to be pure of heart and mind
ever again.

Valid is my fear,
But there's nothing I can do
except to persevere
and hope to find a
shining beacon
on the far horizon
to lead me to salvation.

= Template Change =

2005-11-17T11:46:00.000+08:00

I just changed the template of my blog ade! I was getting dreadfully tired of looking at that blob of green thing. Isn't this much nicer? And neater too?

I really must get this blog off air or else there will be cobwebs in it lo. Pity it only. Unfortunately, I recently have not much inspiration [Read: Lazy] lately that begs poetry itself to be written. Hence, the cobwebs.

Whatever. I'll try to keep this blog alive. So, guys and gals, add this to your links or at least your bloglines subscription, okay? Deal, right?

Toodles now!

They Must Not Find Me

2005-11-08T13:30:00.002+08:00

No more poems for now coz I've no inspiration lately. Aikz, here's a story i wrote some time ago, hope you guys like it. *Prays* Btw, sorry for abandoning this blog for so long. Have been a bit busy recently.

I scrambled across the woodland, deadly afraid that I would be found. The dead yellow leaves crunched noisily under my feet. My face was extremely filthy and my arms were adorned with bruises caused by overhanging twigs.

They must not find me. They must not. If they find me, I am a goner for sure. I must tell the world the dangerous truth.

Every few minutes, I slipped my hand into the side pocket of my torn, dirty jeans to make sure the diskette was still in there. This diskette holds important information that might save our entire race from destruction. The weight of that massive responsibility weighed heavily on my shoulders. Thank goodness I kept my head that day…

It was just a normal day. You know, school, homework and assignments. I was walking home from school after drama practice and it was dark. Silent. I could feel the breeze playing with my hair.

I knew something was wrong. Very wrong. Why was it so quiet?

But it was not quiet for long.
The throbbing sounds above me frightened me dreadfully. I looked up and stared. And stared in amazement.

Oh my God! My feet was frozen to the ground. I could not run. It was a spaceship made from sleek metal with pulsing green lights. It looks pretty advanced.

Wait a minute, why is it here? Surely this is not a scene from War of the Worlds? Hey, why I can't feel my feet on the ground anymore? Oh no! The spaceship is sucking me up… Help!

Then, everything went blank.

I woke up in a small, round room. A pile of futuristic, silvery clothes and bottles of pills labeled ‘vitamins’, ‘carbohydrates’, ‘proteins’…sat in a corner.

What is this? Food for me? Yuck!

I was lying on an operating table that was soft to sleep on. I sprung around when I heard the door opened.
And I gasped. Aliens!
Actually, they looked relatively normal, with their slimy green oval faces, slivery hair, tentacled fingers and padded feet. Quite an interesting sight. But not for long.
With an electric rod, one of the aliens prodded me painfully towards the door. Faced with no other choice, I obeyed. The hallways were eerie with slimy-looking aliens looking at me through glass doors.
Suddenly, the alien shoved me into a room where I came face to face to an enormous bald alien with a majestic air around him. He must be their king. He used a speaker box attached to his barrel-sized waist to translate his language into English so I could understand his groans and weird snivels.
“Greetings, Earthling. Welcome.”
I remained silent; afraid that saying the wrong thing might just invite an electric prod in my back.
"Do you know why you are here?” he sniveled. I shook my head vigorously. “It is because we want to conduct experiments on a normal human to see your race’s level of intelligence. Not very smart, I would say.”
“Why do you want to know?” I snapped back, angry.
“So, we can take over your puny planet. Earth is so beautiful with its vast oceans and lush vegetarian. Our planet, XO³ is all dust and dirt. Not much fun. According to this diskette, your level of intelligence is much inferior to ours. Should be an easy job,” he croaked, waving the green diskette and sneering at me.
Easy job, huh? We will see about that. Without another thought, I flipped into kungfu mode and kicked his butt like I have seen in the movies. The diskette flew out of his hands and clattered onto the floor. I delivered a karate chop into his barrel-like stomach and a punch into his slimy face. It dazed him momentarily.
This was my chance. I snatched up the diskette and clambered towards the exit. It was not easy. I had to head-butt and kicked a few "clever" but unathlethic aliens out of my way. I pulled open the steel door and jumped out quickly. I landed headfirst into some bushes.

I must find a place to hide. I must inform the government about this. I must live to tell the story.

They must not find me.

Gossip

2005-10-22T11:43:00.002+08:00

G-O-S-S-I-P
That much dreaded word
buzzed around her head
like an annoying fly
that won’t go away.

She risked a glance back
and saw people clustering around,
whispering behind their hands
nasty nothings
complete with a subtle dash of sarcasm.

Everywhere she went,
an abrupt conversation stopper she becomes.
For even they know
that it is impolite,
even rude,
to talk about someone
when that particular person
is present herself.

This endless verbal abuse
has tortured her frail mind, fragile body.
Months, weeks, days of suffering
finally made her snap.

Enough was enough!
No more, she pleaded
as a last resort
with her big sorrowful eyes
but all she got in return
were sneers, smirks and jeers.

A broken girl,
she climbed up the forbidden stairs
to a forbidden end.
No one ran after her.
No one stop her.
For they did not know enough
to even care.

She stood on the uppermost floor.
The wind teased her tangled hair
Tears smeared her once perfect makeup.
Was this it? she asked herself.

Ugly thoughts stiffened her resolve.
She stood upright on the banister
like a proud haughty queen
with her beautiful tresses blowing in the wind,
oblivious to the tiny coloured dots
pointing up at her.

In a flash, she jumped.
Soared down like an ill-used angel,
her white dress streaming against her
desperate to escape from
the ugly realities
of an ugly world.
And finally all was ended for her
with a piercing thump.

:: The Process ::

2005-10-15T11:26:00.001+08:00

Oh, how Time has flown!
and we mope and moan
of the days that have gone,
where we made friendship bonds.

Behold, the battle zone
while the examiner drones,
Thinking Caps are donned,
to write whatever our heads own.

Feverish sweat tickles the brow,
for those not as wise as owls.
Some sail through with glee,
I do hope one of them is me!
(Wishful thinking...)

When all is quiet,
our brains so tired,
pencils and pens are laid to rest,
So we can enjoy life with zest!

Did He Know?

2005-10-12T04:48:00.001+08:00

Sorry, stranger for stepping
on your shoe,
for I know not what I do.
Dried of emotion, shriveled, yes I am.
Tired, exhausted and shattered.

I faltered at the thought
of him lying lifeless
in the white bed,
frozen like a beautiful wax figurine,
surrounded by a crying family.

Did he know
that this is no way
to end his problems?
For he only caused immense pain
to those he loved.

Tell me, stranger,
Was it my fault
I didn’t notice
this was the end he chose?
That I should have known better.
That I should have
been a better friend.

Yes, I know.
Life is priceless.
Life is sacred.
Life is fragile.
A threadbare difference
separates life from death.
But he did not know.

Because of that,
he chose to end life
with the same thread,
hanging from a beam,
staring dully at the glass,
from misty it became clear.
The last breath left him,
Leaving us to an eternity
of endless sorrows
and regrets.

Evil triumphed by Forgiveness

2005-09-22T23:03:00.001+08:00

In the darkness of the night,
I rest in the hope
that i'm not tainted
by evil
and will never ever be.
For once evil has
consumed your soul
in its entirety
One is never
oneself anymore.
Tis' impossible to recover
what is lost.

What is said cannot be undone.
Forgiveness
is the only healing thing
that work in the wounds
made by ill-judgement.
Come, let's all forgive.
And we'll all breathe lighter because of it,
this I promise you.

No More Crying

2005-09-14T08:27:00.001+08:00

I'm not the type of girl
who cries when something goes wrong.
Other girls shed tears
when they had tasted slight failure.
I just bite my lip,
stare straight ahead,
promising myself to work harder next time.

I won't give it
to my stinging eyes,
showing weakness in front of everyone
juz isn't my thing.
I do not need the pitying eyes
nor do I need the fake words of sympathy.
For they pain me more
than the real cause of pain.

Shining pearls smudging up my face
Something I can do without.
What I really need is a
good kick at the coke machine
or a good kick-boxing session
at the local gym.
Just let me
sweat off the disappointment and anger
of a well-deserved failure.

Remember that you told me
real guys don't cry?
You know what?
Girls like me don't cry either.
I might slam my foot into the wooden door,
getting an excruciatingly pained-toe,
I might punch the washroom mirror
into sparkling shreds.
But listen to my promise
I would never cry
nor shed a tear
in front of an audience,
for sympathy is the last thing i will ever need.

People say---> No War.
I say---> No more crying.

Fairytales & Love

2005-09-10T11:23:00.001+08:00

Come closer,
I will bare my soul
and tell you the truth.
I’m not the sort of girl
who needs her Prince Charming
coz there’s no such thing.

Sorry, I don’t believe in fairytales and what-nots.
They are for the very young
and the naïve.
Yes, they may be intriguing
but they will never be enacted in real life.

Is there such a thing as
a practical realistic love story?
If there is, please sign me up.
No hesitation.

I’m searching for true love
that will last
but I don’t dare to believe
that we will “live happily forever”.

I know, I have to be brave,
give you my share of love
but it takes guts
to prepare myself for the “loved and lost” story.

Maybe it is just too much of trouble.
I’m no risk-taker
when it comes to love.
I don’t wanna hurt again
so just let me be at peace
in blissful “singledom”.
No more risks,
No worries,
Resting in peace.

Compromise to Change

2005-08-10T20:59:00.001+08:00

Apparently
being direct
isn’t the way to go.
We should not spread hurt around
coz’ it goes round in a vicious cycle.
But should I bury
my personality
restrain myself
hide behind a mask
to be cool, calm, collected
in every word uttered?
But that ain’t real for me.

I don’t want to lose my identity
the thing that makes us all unique
in many special different ways.
I don’t mean to hurt anyone
sorry that I spoke without thinking
sorry that I hurt you
but that wasn’t my intent.
Honest.

Sorry seems to be the hardest word
but forgive and forget
is the best policy.
All things said,
this time,
once again,
I will choose to walk
the middle path.
The grey area
between direct and reserved.
Change for the better I will.
Trust me.
Change I will.

Life is a journey,
is it not?
It doesn’t matter
about the destination.
Just hold back and enjoy the journey.
And Change is part of the journey.

The Silent Battlefield

2005-07-28T11:28:00.001+08:00

Tis a time of turmoil
where the battle cries pierced the once-silent horizon
The clang of metal against metal
echoed across the plains.
That madness,
that insane urge to kill
an unreal enemy.

In another life,
we might have been brothers
But in this ugly reality,
we are forced to become sworn enemies.
And it begun with a yell,
when the captain charged his troops
into the face of Death.

When the woven web of Lies
are laid to rest with Deceit,
side by side in a field-turned-graveyard,
The stench of Death lingers in the still air
Armour abandoned with rotting flesh
accompanied by the non-ending buzzing of flies
eager for another meal
provided by the folly of mankind
who are eager to quench
their fanatical thirst for conquest
which lead to nothing more
than a barren field
bobby-trapped with mines,
littered with the bitter bones of men
who were lead astray
by Lies and shameless Propaganda.
And then,
everything was still.

Life, Interrupted~Disillusionment

2005-07-24T21:44:00.001+08:00

I was a broken woman,
disillusioned with the world
and the little things
it had to offer me.

Seen too much
of life itself.
Depression sets in
with an ugly rear of its greasy head.
No happy endings exist
in reality.
They only belong on the silver screen
for the non-discriminating and the naïve.

Fool that I'm
to believe in false hopes
lifted high
by another fool.
Taken leave of my senses
I must be.

Drained of common sense
pumped full of mushy
lovey-dovey
nothings.
Please set me free.
I'm a beast in captivity.
I can't bear it anymore.

I know happiness is a choice.
But it appears that choosing,
apparently is not an option worth of me.
How can I choose the right path
when my hands are hand-cuffed
to the prison bars?

This is life
when it is interrupted.
Nothing left but disillusionment.
This is Hell.
All Hail life in Hell.

爱的伟大

2005-06-24T21:40:00.002+08:00

我的爱就像
汹涌澎渤的大海
每一卷浪奔驰向沙滩
掀起优美的浪花。

我的爱
将永不枯萎
就像幽雅的玫瑰花
站在太阳下
显得更迷人。

其实我爱的
不是某某某
而只是
生命而已！

哈哈。。。骗到你了！

PS：这是首好烂的诗啊！本来开头不错的，但过后就不会接了。。。还有我的华语那么差还要学写华语的诗？！真的是不知量力！！有没有人肯帮我修改呢？

The Empty Life [Pun Unintended]

2005-06-24T21:35:00.001+08:00

I don't want to be forced
to laugh
when I don't find it funny.
People are pressuring me to conform,
to become a mindless clone,
incapable of thought.

I'm surrounded by people everyday
but I've never ever felt so alone.
No one to confide in
my deepest fears
my darkest secrets.
No one to share an inside joke
or rollercoaster with me
through the ups and downs of the road called Life.

I don't really fit in.

Life seems like a dark void that cannot be filled.
I'm rushing down an endless dark hole.

Sometimes, I feel that
life is really empty.
A blank nothing.
Dark.
Period.

:: Grown Apart ::

2005-06-16T09:17:00.001+08:00

Many things have changed
I'm one of them.
Things will never be the same again.

We used to be really good friends,
Inseparable.
But now we feel more like
strangers.
Those people who you brush shoulders with
at a busy street.

We used to be one of those people
who could finish each other's sentences.
But now,
I don't even know
what you're thinking
what you're feeling.
Do you feel the same?

I have been talking, talking.
Yes, you're hearing
But, you're not really listening
with your heart.
It's really a shame.
Eyes wide open,
everything's crystal clear.
But you only see
what you want to see
Hear what you want to hear.

Something or someone has torn us apart,
killed this true friendship
with a fatal scar.
I don't believe in forever,
I just believe in 'now'.

The curtains are drawn,
the show's over.
I'm in doubt whether we can
mend this wounded friendship.
I cherished it once,
when it was still special
and meaningful.
Now, I think I'll just
let it go.
Coz' I don't wanna know.

Every day of our life,
dully ripped away.
I see so many sheets of calendar
crumpled into unsightly balls of white.
I'm not surprised to find
that we've grown apart.
It's quite natural,
when the weary clock
had ticked for so long a time.
We've become different people
oceans apart in our ways of life,
bound only by this
old rusty chain of friendship.

I will just let it be.
I know, I used to cared a lot.
But now?
I don't feel nothing no more.
Broaden my horizons I will
and see beyond this murky gray sea.
Only time will tell and
only time will heal our wounds.

Everyone, juz remember to appreciate what you have before you lose it... ~~Peace~~

Feminist Speakin'

2005-06-08T14:31:00.001+08:00

Some people have
no sense of purpose in life.
Oh, yes, poor them do have but one goal.
To marry a rich husband
and wallow in his stack of gold.
Sorry to be rude
but I always speak my mind.
To tell you the truth,
I’m rather disgusted
by their sort of ideal future.
It’s revolting.
It’s the ultimate insult
to the descendants of Eve.

You know what?
Wallowing just might be
what they’re going to do a lot of
in their pitiful future.
Unfortunately, not in stacks of green,
but more likely in self-pity.
Women, hear my prayer.
Take a stand.
Make a statement.
Do us women proud.
We don’t need such shit
from the ‘stronger sex’.

Since the passing sands of time,
we women had been labeled as
the ‘weaker sex’.
How amusing.
Such untruths so widespread.
Coz the Y-chromosomed oppressor
is the one born with defects.
But, then it’s not uncommon
for the childish chauvinist
to call others names.

We are not the ones
who determine the gender of our children.
But we are the ones
who are blamed the most
by mental mother-in-laws
who decided it was so.
We are not frumpy housewives
for you to come home
and yell at.
We are not subservient servants
willing to bathe your stinking feet
held so high.

Instead, open your heart,
please take note.
We are the breadwinners of society.
We are the mothers of mankind.
We, individuals with rights,
demand proper respect from all.

We don’t need a man
to make us whole.
Coz we are
independent, confident
and invincible.
We are women,
hear us roar,
hear us shout to the heavens
that we can survive
in this harsh world
without a man.

Now, don’t get me wrong.
I’m not saying
I don’t want to find love
with a man
who has integrity
and all those good qualities
I pray for.

Just saying that
race of Eve and Adam
are both equals.
Call us counterparts, even partners.
Give us women due respect.
Give us a standing ovation
for our selfless contributions to humanity.
Mark my words,
We will create our own destiny.

Song :: 走

2005-05-30T21:31:00.001+08:00

This song is written by moi...I can sing it but unfortunately due to my limited musical skills, i'm still currently unable 2 convert it 2 music notes...Argghh. whatever, anyway, this are the lyrics... ~~Enjoy!~~ =P

走

我开始忘了自己是谁
你要我走下着路实在太累
我不要这伤悲
我要飞

我要飞

你开始忘了我到底是谁
我站在人群里失去防备
烦恼的心内
不能睡
不能睡

Chorus 1:
请让我走一个人走
我不要你看到我泪流
我也不想听你的理由
给我自尊
一个人走

Chorus 2:
其实我走走的有理由
因为你没有守候
你对我的承诺永远爱我
请让我走
一个人走

Broken Dreams

2005-05-29T21:17:00.001+08:00

I feel like throwing up,
falling through an endless hole.
The darkness engulfed me,
I feel so faint and exhausted.

Work and toil has taken its toll,
My body is tired, dying,
My mind blank, empty,
Cruelly lifted hopes gone,
left me with nothing.

Dreams shattered into pieces,
No more please, I can’t take it anymore.
Do you know the price
the price of killing one’s dreams?
Dreams that we once hold dear to our hearts...

The dread clutched my throat,
Is this how you feel when
you’re hopeless, disillusioned, despaired,
Oh, without hope, dreams,
Life is just like a wounded dying bird,
Singing in sorrow.

Evil In School

2005-05-29T04:38:00.001+08:00

There's a devil in my school!
She's walking around,
pretending to be cool.
She wiggles her ass,
gave me the finger.
What do you want me to do?

She's prancing around,
Thinking she's the Queen Bee.
Oh! Frustrated I
have no patience for people
who think they're all that!
And I don't mind being blunt
When it comes to
taking them down a peg or two.

Plastic People,
all hard and shiny on the surface
While there's nothing real inside.
It’s all hollow!
I knocked and echoes follow.

She's all fake
drooling with treachery and pretense.
Ha! I scorn at her!
I don't need such attitude
from a nasty nothing.

If I could snap my fingers,
and she vanish in a puff of foul smoke,
how glad the whole school would be!
I would become the heroine
who had rid the school of the ultimate evil.

Unfortunately, unlike her,
I possess no such magic.
She's turning and looking at me now.
Maybe she knows
I'm writing evil poems about her.
She directed the EVIL EYE at me.
Oh! I'm vanishing...
into a puff of smoke...
with a comforting scent...

PS: This does not refer to you if you're reading this... Anyway, i wrote it ages ago...haha...

深夜至黎明

2005-05-23T10:39:00.001+08:00

Anyway, I thought it'd be a nice change if I switched gears to another language...This is my best shot at writing chinese poems but since my chinese ability is limited at best...It'd be kind of you sirs and misses to give me any helpful advice to modify it become better! And to those of you who can't read chinese to save their lives, well, better luck next time! lol... =)

仰望
无星的夜晚
倚在矮墙上
和友人谈心
享受周围的幽静
听着夜鸟鸣叫声
啊！那是多大的喜悦！

偶尔
路过的汽车
发出的引擎声
打破了深夜的黑纱
但可惜的是，
咱们的友谊
可能在黎明的到来
就会划上一个永远的句号。

可恶的岁夜！
他总不让美丽的时光
停下匆忙的脚步
只留下酸甜的记忆
来陪伴我们
继续未来的旅程。

Life After Bars

2005-05-17T09:52:00.001+08:00

Watched too much violence
on the idiot box.
Desperate for a piece if action.
Infected with an incurable thirst,
dabbled in petty crime.
In the end,
paid a terrible price,
spent a lost part of my life
behind dull bars.

Finally, I’m out!
Free as a bird
soaring high in the blue blue sky
but I’m lost in a world full of doubt
Can’t find my way home anymore.

I saw a rainbow in the sky
but it has lost its seven colours.
Life has become distinct shades
of black, grey and white.
I’m drowning in a swirl of sorrows
and regrets.

It’s true I was once a convict.
I’m brave enough to admit it.
But, people, hear my sincere prayer.
I’ve seen the error of my ways,
Turn over a new leaf,
I swear I will.

But they won’t give me another chance
for a new life after bars.
I’ve already paid my dues.
Exhausted and stripped to the last bone.

Stick and stones may break my bones,
but their hurtful words will not
cripple my soul, my meandering spirit.
I want to stop trying
but I won’t give up on myself.
Coz’ God only helps
those who help themselves.
I will believe in myself
even if no one else will.

My chance to shine will come
And I’ll be the one
who created it.
Have faith in my dreams,
I know I can do it.
I’ll reach for the stars.
The sky is not the limit.
My great expectations
know no bounds,
know no limitations.

I’ll persevere and be strong
Carve a new life for myself.
Mark my words,
My dreams will be turned into reality.
Even though I’m an ex-convict.

A Personal Statement...by moi...=P

2005-05-17T09:06:00.002+08:00

Anyway, I thought dat if I only post poems here, this blog would be a pretty impersonal one... So, dis post is dedicated to me saying hi to anyone who's reading this...! Hehe...
Well, i'm not going to go on being so long-winded (is there such a phrase or is it borrowed from Chinese?? Can't seem to differentiate some times lo...lol...), juz wanna say if u really enjoy reading these poems and if you're a fellow blogger, feel free to leave me comments on da links below every post!

I will receive them with open arms and a open heart!

~Stretch open arms~
And... pause ~for dramatic effect~

If you're not a fellow blogger and still feel like giving me some comments, just air ur opinions there in the tagboard on the right hand side of the page...! Sensible criticisms will make me grow as a poet~~ (if i'm allowed to flatter myself by calling myself one, that is...lol...)
Well, i will try to type more poems into this blog but sometimes i'm lazy/busy so no go there...

*sigh...actually, I had written them down oredi...what I need is a typist who wouldn't plagiarize my work *

As if anyone'd want to... Haha...
That's all for now! Cya!! =P

PS: From this post above, don't you think I have the potential to be the Drama Queen of Writing?? I seem to be dramatizing a lot in this post...oh... Whatever...!

Dreams In Reality

2005-05-16T11:33:00.001+08:00

I live in a wonderful world,
but it's all of my own making.
For Reality
is too scary a place
to really live in.

The real world is torn usunder
by its own cruelty
and treachery.
I refuse to be part
of this axis of evil.
Pretentious, cruel, deceitful
are descriptions I do not need.

In an ironic twist of daily life,
I’m laughed at,
jeered at,
mocked at every dark dull day.
I just close my eyes,
scream at the empty walls,
until everything around goes black.

Various names I have been labeled with,
I could name you
a well-chosen few.
But most of them, I’m afraid
needs some censoring first.
For fear they might
pollute your tender ears
and weaken your fragile heart.

The real world was supposed
to be filled with
laughter, peace and freedom.
But, these I can find
only in my fantasies
and my nightly dreams.

Rather than living in the shadows,
I choose to make my own world
in my own mind.
Maybe I’m just in plain denial.
But what can I say?
This is my own choice,
my ultimate decision.
I don't need your permission
to be real
in a world full of fake souls.

This is my salvation,
my only offering of peace.
This is my piece of heaven.
My own dreams
in an ever-changing reality.